The person in the casket in no way resembled the person we’d known. Cancer had devoured him inside-out and it was excruciatingly painful to see him in this state. I was hoping beyond hope that this was all a bad dream and he would wake up, we’d call this a miracle and get back to our regular lives…We knew the end was coming and looking at him in deep pain a few months back, I then hoped it would happen sooner than later… but being there and to see his casket go into the furnace and realizing it’s all over, I wish I had dropped everything I was doing and spent more time with him over the last few months…
On the flight back to Boston, as I was trying to make sense of it all, I was volleying between Ramu anna’s death this year and Rajesh’s suicide in 2015. I was reminded of the podcast on Voyager1 and Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot.
That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. — Carl Sagan
In the big scheme of things, we’re all so dispensable. Arguably, There’s so, so little that you have control over and there’s no rhyme or reason for certain things. Life is best lived, living in the moment and spending time with family and friends.
Rest in peace, Ramu Anna. You were a terrific person and will be sorely missed.