Memories

I get into my house, I believe from the side entrance. Looks like there’s nobody in there. It’s mildly windy. Possibly from an open window? There’s a barely audible calming music from MS coming out from the bedroom. As I walk in, I notice TVM in the bed cocooned in a blanket, her eye’s glazed and probing deep in thought. I gently tap her and ask her if everything’s okay. She turns around and I somehow know she’s thinking of Amma. Tears well up in her eyes as she asks if we did everything we could. I’m petrified. I don’t have an answer for her and I’m left standing there for a seemingly long time… All of a sudden I notice someone trying to open the window mesh and get the keys from the inside. Atchuth? I open the main door and see Nikhil, Sharath, Aparna and a few other kids. They say they’re back from Brueggers. I come back to the bedroom to check on TVM. She’s smiling as if nothing in the past really happened.

Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. There’s no Brueggers in Habsiguda. I haven’t been to a Brueggers myself. This can’t be real. I turn around and realize it’s 04:40am. Hop off the bed, into my yoga clothes and head to the kitchen. I’m insanely awake and fresh. As I work on different tasks in the kitchen the dream keeps playing in my mind…

Miss Me has long been saying I should write more about Amma. Unfortunately, most of my memories now only seem to be from her last few years in the hospital. Times mostly dabbled with pain…I barely recollect any memories of me growing up with her around. Memories need triggers and someday hopefully when they kick in, I’ll be able to recollect more of the good times I spent with her…If only I could get those back, I’d treasure them for life.

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